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Mental health, psychological abuse, trauma, traged

Mental health, psychological abuse, trauma, tragedy, grief, loneliness, and loss are invisible.

It’s human for us to keep these tucked away, hidden from the world.

It’s also human to make a snap judgement about others based on not knowing the whole story.

“You do not know what wars are going on down there where the spirit meets the bone.” — Miller Williams

Your kindness and gentleness can go a long way 💕. Be generous with it when you can!

Repost: @decade2doodles

#kindfulself
#selfcompassion
#mindfulness
#mindfulselfcompassion

I am offering another 6-week course in mindfulness

I am offering another 6-week course in mindfulness + self-compassion training on Sunday afternoons, from November 1 - December 6 @ 1-230pm.

These skills are essential for learning how to cope with difficult feelings and remind yourself that you aren’t alone on this human journey.

It is a skills-building group, where you can share as much or as little about your experience with the teachings and practices that we cover.

This course is for you if you:

🤍 Want to learn about what self-compassion actually is!

🤍 Want some self-compassion and mindfulness practices to help you manage stress

🤍 Want to learn how to move through difficult emotions with greater ease

🤍 Want to learn how to manage burnout and caregiver fatigue

🤍 Want to explore your core values and focus on what matters most to you in your life

🤍 Want to connect with other like-minded/hearted humans

Registration and any questions, please DM or email me: info@moniquemercier.ca

Some funding options available through employee benefits under psychology group services. Inquire with your insurance benefits provider to see if you are eligible.

*only open to residents of Ontario*

#kindfulself
#acceptance
#mindfulness
#selfcompassion
#mindfulselfcompassion

When we are feeling a strong emotion, our thoughts

When we are feeling a strong emotion, our thoughts get distorted. For example, if someone is experiencing feelings of fear and vulnerability in social situations, their thoughts will reflect the intensity of those emotions. These are called cognitive distortions. They are universal and happen to everyone.

Some examples of ways that our minds engage in cognitive distortions during strong emotions, like fear or despair:

☁️ All-or-nothing thinking: Things are either categorically bad or good. No grey area.

☁️ Discounting the positive: Filtering out and disregarding any positive information.

☁️ Catastrophizing: Imagining the worst case scenario and underestimating our ability to cope.

☁️ Fortune Telling: Predicting the future in a negative light.

☁️ Mind Reading: Assuming that we know what other people think of us.

When our minds get stuck in these types of thinking it can be pretty easy to believe these thoughts to be true. When in fact, they are often just a reflection of the intensity of the feeling we are experiencing.

One way to untwist your thinking when you are really believing one of your thoughts is to “Put Your Thought On Trail” - that is, to actually look for facts both for and against the thought to see the actual evidence rather than just relying on our biased interpretations based on strong feelings.

Next time you find yourself stuck on a self-defeating thought, try these steps:

1️⃣ Unhelpful thought: __________
2️⃣ Feelings: _____, ______, _______
3️⃣ Evidence to support this thought: _________
4️⃣ Evidence against this thought: __________
5️⃣ A more balanced thought: __________

This Cognitive Behavioural Therapy technique takes a little practice and is helpful to do with a therapist or a friend to start, but once you get the hang of it you can start to do them mentally when you find yourself stuck!

#kindfulself
#mindfulness
#selfcompassion
#mindfulselfcompassion
#cognitivebehaviouraltherapy

If you don’t already follow Brene Brown’s work

If you don’t already follow Brene Brown’s work, it is a goldmine of research and practical lessons on belonging, shame, vulnerability, and being human.

Check out her 20 min Ted Talk, “The Power of Vulnerabulity.

Repost: @brenebrown

#kindfulself
#selfcompassion
#selfacceptance
#powerofvulnerability

Communication... ahhh that thing we never learned

Communication... ahhh that thing we never learned in school... And did the best we could with based on what our parents modelled for us. The thing that we usually don’t think about until we have that conflict or major problems with friends, kids, family, bosses, coworkers, partners, etc.

When we are feeling threatened, there is a natural protection mechanism that usually arises to prevent us from feeling that emotional discomfort:

🤜 🙉Enter PROTECTIVE mechanisms🙈 🤛

David Burns lists several of these protective strategies or ‘communication pitfalls’ - any sound familiar?

- Defensiveness - instead of listening, defending ones own perspective

- Problem Solving - ignoring feelings and jumping to fixing mode

- Denial - pretending that the problem isn’t there

- Counter-attack - responding to criticism with criticism

- Hopelessness - claiming that you’ve tried everything and nothing works

- Blame - either blaming yourself or the other party completely

- Passive-aggression - say nothing, but pout or slam doors

These are just some of the 18 communication pitfalls David Burns lists, that many of us fall prey to during heated exchanges.

He uses the acronym E.A.R. 👂 (Get it?!) to remember the components of good communication:

E. EMPATHY. ❤️ Acknowledging the other person’s feelings OR point of view (not the same as agreeing with them). Trying to jump into the other party’s shoes and see how they might be seeing the situation or feeling can be very disarming and help to soften communication and our feelings of threat.

A. ASSERTIVENESS. 🗣 Clearly expressing your feelings and needs using “I” statements.

“I feel ________ when ________ happens”
“If _______ happened, I would feel ______”

R. RESPECT. 🙏 Communicating with a tone of respect. Nothing gets our prickly side out quicker than an eye roll 🙄 or condescending tone of voice!

Our logic and communication skills actually go off-line when we are experiencing strong emotions. So give yourself permission to TAKE A BREAK☝️ when emotions are too high and come back to the situation when both parties feel more calm ✌️👥✌️

#kindfulself
#mindfulness
#mindfulselfcompassion
#compassionatecommunication

“This being human is a guest house. Every mornin

“This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. “✨💖

— RUMI

#kindfulself
#poetrygram
#heartwisdom
#selfcompassion
#mindfulselfcompassion

I love the way the light hits these pumpkins that

I love the way the light hits these pumpkins that ✨I grew✨in my garden.

Although this is the extent of the pumpkin crop 🤣(working on being a self-compassionate gardner) - they are just so darn cute and I love them anyway!

Happy Thanksgiving weekend to everyone who is celebrating - and if you aren’t, happy long autumn weekend 🍁🍂

✨May you let yourself take in the beauty of your life

✨ May your heart be filled with gratitude and appreciation

✨ May you be gentle and kind with yourself for any longing or grief in your heart

✨ May you find your joy and follow it wherever it takes you

#kindfulself
#gratitude
#thanksgiving
#mindfulselfcompassion

Self-compassion training is not something that you

Self-compassion training is not something that you fit yourself into.

How your self-compassion expresses itself will look different from another person’s experience because there is no “right way” to “do” compassion.

☝🏿 ...AND THAT IS THE POINT ☝🏻

Self-compassion asks you moment-by-moment, ✨what do you need?✨ Without guilt or fear or obligation, what do you really need?

Self-compassion is giving yourself your own power back- to be the authority and expert on your own life and wellbeing; to reacquaint yourself with yourself 😊.

Self-compassion is giving yourself permission to try different tools, have them be not what you needed, and try again.

Self-compassion is not about perfection or about perfecting our SC practice. Rather, it is embracing our imperfect journey of exploring, with kindness and curiosity, who we are and what works for 👉 us👈!!

What do you need right now? ✨❤️

#kindfulself
#acceptance
#mindfulness
#selfcompassion
#mindfulselfcompassion